Monday, January 24, 2011
I try to keep this blog happy in every other way, but this is kinda abandoned and unvisited which is just perfect for me to type and think. But still post it. I apologise to myself for being so random and unsettled. With my 21st bday over, it brought along a new set of worries and my mum takes it hard upon both me and my sis to embrace independence. But Jie feels that she doesn't have that feeling of letting go. But as a mother, it's really hard to give trust upon us to be independent on our own. Was speaking to Pris over a call last night and came to realise that there are a lot of things I failed to perceive and that relations just shy away from what seemingly is real on the outside. With the passing years, relations just sour if they want to or find a way to. People do move on and sometimes, we have no clue whether it's right to let go and accept the reality.

I am not afraid to say that my thinking is a bit on the simple-minded side. Lacking of maturity. And that dealing with situations like this, doesn't feel like I am doing it right...or if I am stretching it a bit too far with my imagination. An opinion to form. I take it upon myself to change the way I look upon situations and mingling around with ppl. A maturity in the way of thinking. Opinions I refuse to form because I don't entirely trust myself to push it through. An effort I don't wish to exert. To put myself in the disadvantage and akwardness.

In this year, I shall entrust myself into confiding in friends whom I trust...that I've never done since a long time ago.

Relishing the times that I really missed my childhood life. Because then, I have been so carefree and innocent and all of my dearest escapades. Now, it's like self-awareness back again. Calling for confidence in what I decide to do, and never falter in my decisions. I shouldn't make people at fault, when they shouldn't be. I shouldn't be in self-denial in what I wanted to be.

Personal thoughts...