Saturday, January 24, 2009
I have not really updated because I succumbed to the flu virus, despite staying cooped at home all day and I took my own sweet time to recover - with the help of my perseverence to have a peaceful evening and night, it took longer than it should.

Celebrated my birthday, with a short but sweet celebration with my family. Thanks to all my friends for their birthday wishes. ((: Too bad that I had to stay at home because of the nearing CNY celebrations..to prevent anyone from falling sick after being exposed to the infected me. Yup..sorry, Chang Yee. Same goes for Hui wen as well. hahaz..Just when I felt like going for a short shopping spree to complete my outfits. Now, I will just have to make do with old clothes for the bottoms. Shhhh...~~

Hmmz...I know it is not easy to settle back down to a family in which you have been separated for the past four years. Having to settle back down is like understanding everyone all over again and that task is never simple. For sure, there would be some misunderstandings but those misunderstandings were implanted long long time ago. For me, I find myself sharing information about school days to my maids, who were the best companions to me after-school. Meaning of best companions? They were with me everywhere I went, typical of the youngest kid of the house. Made best friends out of them and I really appreciate how they looked after me. They taught me how to speak some simple Malay and Tagalog. ((:

My parents? I lost touch of them. Because there would just be dis-satisfaction when it comes to discipline. If we hide, the maid knows about it, they don't. Simple. Everything just had to go along that way and everything will be fine. There was no need to discuss anything else.

Sec 2? They took over. My best companion left? My sister left? Hard to adjust. Life goes on.

Just that my sister never had the quality time to communicate with them as long as I had with my parents..that is where the loophole was & I can understand that. There was this huge gap that was created without them realising it. For me, it is really hard to adjust and try to bridge that gap. So, throughout the holiday in Australia..it was this gap that I try to squeeze into - to act as that bridge.

But it is indeed hard at times...

I, myself, have to adjust to accomodating her in the house once again. It is not a one-time holiday stayover and she will be returning back to Melb. Of course, to lose touch with a child will take several long years to fully know that she will never be the same where you sent her off for her studies. That will take time and losing patience will simply push her away. Her character..you have got try harder to understand because she is entirely different from me.

Not as simple, not the same.

Spring cleaning for CNY was hard and I broke down a couple of times one day. It is not a simple one-man job and I felt the burden. Acting a middleman of a relationship is difficult because you have to be adept in pleasing both sides or drown from taking favouritism over another. With no other support, it just seems so useless with whatever I had tried to accomplish.

I know it is not a one-night stay but Jie, is here to stay.
To continue this way, I will eventually have no idea where to head off.
Leaving the family for a day has crossed my mind. Just to take a break but that is just a temporary relief.

I, too, am trying hard to adapt. With her around, there is more energy in the house for housework and clearance of my stuff. It changes my way around the room. But in the long run, if I continue to give way to her, I will lose my sleep and my eyesight will just turn for the worse. Is this what I want for myself? My body...the best person to understand it..would be me. For that, I have got to remind myself from time to time. This CNY prep, I will just leave it as an experience for me.

My temper is susceptible and it could just explode one day...& that will be the limit for me on that day. If I do happen to do just that, I really wanted to prevent it.

For now, I will just update here for awhile.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Give me a while..will post back to the other blog soon. I just haven't found the time to post up the pictures. Please forgive me. ((:

If you want, you can just look at the photos in my facebook account. The pictures have been uploaded there for more than 1 week.

Really busy with the spring cleaning of the house...for the chinese new year preps. With the mess generated from several years of neglect, it contributes to the overall time needed to clear it.